Dear IKEA,
I was somewhat disturbed when i first entered your main store in shanghai on a saturday afternoon to find that I was herded along with 700,000 chinese people through every possible area of your store before being able to leave.
I, at first, imagined I worked for your store engineering department, and had been the genius that decided to force everyone to talk through every conceivable department to see your cheap crap that in most real countries is only acceptable for dorm rooms. In this fantasy I later imagined I visited the actual site here in china myself and then committed suicide by jumping on to one of your particle board tables and then choked down all the pieces shredding my throat and choking to death on the blood and splinters.
Then i saw your VAG blanket, and imagined i was part of the marketing team that named this. Among all the stupid europeans, I was the only one who got this joke. The world was good again. Still, i hope that location burns down, or at the very least you replace the shitty plush toys at the entrance with antiseptic masks and Purell.
Go fuck yourself & hugs and kisses,
R
