This lady writes exceptionally well, unfortunately…
I started in politics when I was just a kid. Not quite 22 and I believed everything the party told me. I thought Democrats were faceless devils; And for years I worked at that pace, to that tempo. I lost - fortunately, only temporarily - friendships for my fervor and mostly sacrificed my personal life in its pursuit. And the thing is, you can’t do this as a pragmatist. If you’re not an idealist, if you can’t Truly believe that So Much rides on the next election and that you CAN truly win (And believe me, you’ve no idea the faith and hope that takes as a Republican in a state blue to its core), you can’t do this. You’re sunk. You can’t wager everything you have on potential as a pragmatist. That would only allow moderation, incrementalism…and even Democrats can’t win here on that fuel.
Let me give credit where credit is due. The author of the above paragraph is a skilled writer. Other than the fact strange words are capitalized for emphasis instead of just letting the reader figure out where the emphasis should go its really quite nice. I hope one day I possess that skill. One of the best parts about the internet is that I get to rip on people who are far too busy to respond to someone like me. I’m nobody. They’re somebody. I’m not even worth the effort. Nor should any effort be warranted, as most of my tirade is generally directed at people of the republican faith
I walk out of my Shanghai apartment. It is a strange thing to be in a world where everyone should love our country, and for some reason does not. We give more than any other country to countries which do not deserve it. We brought the world good pornography, Ice cream, the airplane and Michael Jackson. We have more military and financial power than any other country on the planet and have abused it less than any other superpower in the history of history. 10 years ago they loved us here. They were paying to get into shipping containers to come be prostitutes on Spring Mtn. Blvd. in fabulous Las Vegas Nevada. Such was the power of America, imported hand jobs, or were we merely outsourcing the wife?
I hear someone tell me they are a republican, and I look at them as if they’ve just told me they were a hobbit. Suddenly, I find myself wishing for a magic ring to disappear before we get into long intricate riddles on the shore of the lake beneath the goblin mountain. It’s like hearing someone in casual conversation use the term two bits in reference to a quarter. I imagine these days admitting you’re republican is like admitting you’re a nazi, or maybe like coming out to your parents on their anniversary.
Moreso, when someone my age says “I’m a republican,” I can’t shake the image of beehive hairdo’s, drive in movies, lots filled with big finned cars, and Pony Boy. I let this thought snowball in my brain. How does a relationship with a person like this start? I picture a 29 year old woman asking me to come back to her place to play cribbage. When we get there she offers me a cup of tea and a bit o honey or sugar free diabetic ice cream. I learn what heaven is like when she takes out her teeth to gum the ever living shit out of my balls while the mustache that hasn’t been waxed since before wax was invented ever so gently tickles my gooch. Since she’s only 29, she shows me pictures of other people’s grandchildren.
I realize the appeal of it all, responsibility, family values keeping the commies & zombies at bay. I realize many of these people never leave the beltway let alone the country. When they do its for five or ten days, the waiter speaks english and is some sort of brown person from a place that they’ve been to but cannot identify on a map. Ten miles from the resort unimaginable things happen to common people. I realize how easy it is to forget that you are white, or white enough to get by in white society, and how this surrounds you like armor. Or, how some terrorists killing 5,000 people can justify dropping $250,000 bombs on sheep farmers who from up in the stealth bomber appeared to match the description of a known terrorist associate. Our best intel said he was brown with brown hair. “Of course man, we had to do it. A taxi driver on the Turk border told us they’re smuggling plutonium in those fuckers! Can you believe it? Thats why we trained George Clooney to kill goats in the first damned place!” This is where I smile and nod, as there isn’t much else to do. “Jesus son, if we don’t keep on eye on them they’ll come right in the house and rape & kill your mother right in front of you.”
I feel like i’m taking crazy pills. The world hates us BECAUSE of you fuckers, I have to actually live in it, you don’t. The most ridiculous thing is that they manage to win so often with such a small demographic of the population. Their sadness is the sadness of knowing. Republicans know they are fucked, for years they relied on marketing and laziness. the disenfranchised will never get their shit together, bunch of potheads. But they did. The republican engine failed. Its not so much that the democrats won, they just got people out to vote. Now, late at night in gated neighborhoods across america, you can actually hear the death cry of the conservatives. A low desperate whine as youth and common sense buttfuck conservatism into submission.
When the party finally dies off, I hope we give it a viking burial
