ASIA LEADS THE WAY!!!!!! edit: actually this was too good for just one. This deserves at least 300 words. Is there a direct correlation between average dick size and amount of porn purchased? I know, you think I’m being a racist bastard. You would be wrong. I’ve been to the gym here in Chinar, let me walk you through it. First and foremost, cleanliness is not next to godliness, its the kind of place you feel like you could get leeches on your asshole just by walking in. I’m not talking about the gay guys, which coincidentally are just as large a percentage of the gym population as they are back home. No I’m talking about actual blood sucking mother fucking leeches on this mother fucking plane. I come prepared, I go to workout in a onesie, and no I don’t mean a wrestling jersey. Full on yellow Winnie the Poo onesie, with plastic feet and a zipper that comes dangerously close to cutting my cock off every time I zip it up. The trainer gets pissed when I rub against the carpet then sneak up and shock him while he’s spotting someone. Girls if you don’t want guys hitting on you while at the gym doing your squats, get one of these. I haven’t had a dude hit on me since i got it, and trust me, i have a much larger chance of getting a man at the gym than you do. I digress. I finish what I consider to be a workout. I’m tired and need a cigarette. As I spoke earlier about the level of hygiene Its safe to say I had no plans to shower at the gym. However, I quickly dove into the first stall as i saw three naked men standing in front of the sinks. Each had a leg up on the counter as if they were three asian Captain Morgans, in one hand they each wielded a +1 blow dryer of mental scarring, which they were using to dry the massive forrest of untrimmed black hair between their legs. There is a moment of utter clarity, when you know you are about to see another man’s cock. Nothing will ever be the same, you know this. I can only liken it to the flash a moth must see as lightning rips off a bug zapper to end its life. No time to scream, no time to shield yourself from the blast, just take it in. Out from the forrest poked a tiny flesh colored acorn. For some reason I kind of looked like Groucho Marx had a baby with a pug. I turned on the water, soaking my onesie, but I didn’t care. 30 minutes later, when i finished crying, i decided i had the right to make Asian penis jokes. Click on pic for ilovecharts, i’m retarded at writing markup. View high resolution

ASIA LEADS THE WAY!!!!!!

edit: actually this was too good for just one. This deserves at least 300 words.

Is there a direct correlation between average dick size and amount of porn purchased? I know, you think I’m being a racist bastard. You would be wrong. I’ve been to the gym here in Chinar, let me walk you through it. First and foremost, cleanliness is not next to godliness, its the kind of place you feel like you could get leeches on your asshole just by walking in. I’m not talking about the gay guys, which coincidentally are just as large a percentage of the gym population as they are back home. No I’m talking about actual blood sucking mother fucking leeches on this mother fucking plane. I come prepared, I go to workout in a onesie, and no I don’t mean a wrestling jersey. Full on yellow Winnie the Poo onesie, with plastic feet and a zipper that comes dangerously close to cutting my cock off every time I zip it up. The trainer gets pissed when I rub against the carpet then sneak up and shock him while he’s spotting someone. Girls if you don’t want guys hitting on you while at the gym doing your squats, get one of these. I haven’t had a dude hit on me since i got it, and trust me, i have a much larger chance of getting a man at the gym than you do. I digress.

I finish what I consider to be a workout. I’m tired and need a cigarette. As I spoke earlier about the level of hygiene Its safe to say I had no plans to shower at the gym. However, I quickly dove into the first stall as i saw three naked men standing in front of the sinks. Each had a leg up on the counter as if they were three asian Captain Morgans, in one hand they each wielded a +1 blow dryer of mental scarring, which they were using to dry the massive forrest of untrimmed black hair between their legs.

There is a moment of utter clarity, when you know you are about to see another man’s cock. Nothing will ever be the same, you know this. I can only liken it to the flash a moth must see as lightning rips off a bug zapper to end its life. No time to scream, no time to shield yourself from the blast, just take it in. Out from the forrest poked a tiny flesh colored acorn. For some reason I kind of looked like Groucho Marx had a baby with a pug. I turned on the water, soaking my onesie, but I didn’t care. 30 minutes later, when i finished crying, i decided i had the right to make Asian penis jokes.

Click on pic for ilovecharts, i’m retarded at writing markup.

Notes